Mothering

This young man of mine is a blessing. All of my children are. This week he has been at the center of attention. Monday was his orchestra concert. Tuesday we worked hard together, he on cello, me on piano, Ryan on viola, for a performance in church on Sunday.

Wednesday was an usual day. I was requested to come to the high school to discuss my son's and my choice that he not read a couple of books which we found offensive in content. I am not afraid of controversial topics or dark themes, and recognize that clearly life is not all roses and that hard things happen to many people. However, I am concerned that we teach in a way that elevates and inspires people to be their best. I want to expose my children to the best literature that is out there, that models excellent writing and causes one to think about their own life and how they can reach their own potential. There are so many good books available that I don't understand why they are being overlooked for books that have profanity spready thickly and are overtly sexual. Through his high school experience, he has been exposed only to the dark side, rarely to the higher road. I insisted that he read some of the great literature of the world. Does it isolate him? Yes, but he is already isolated in his class by taking a stand on many controversial subjects they have discussed all year. He has gotten quite used to feeling like he was the "lone voice crying in he wilderness." And that day, I felt it too.

I was accused of being against diversity, because one of the books was about the life of black man, but I explained I love the book To Kill A Mockingbird. I was accused of usurping the teacher's authority as a professional educator, but I explained that my value system as my child's parent was being usurped by a teacher who has not invested 17 years in raising this boy to think along a higher standard. I was accused of being too sheltering, that he would be not be prepared for the realities of college life. I praised BYU's standards as being equal to my own, that my son selected that school by himself, because of what he felt while walking on that campus. I was accused of harming my child's classmates because they are missing out on the goodness of Steven. I agreed, that was sad for them, but wondered aloud how much that would be true, as the teacher has allowed them to laugh out loud at some of the opinions he has expressed in class, with the teacher allowing that to happen. They argued that literature is to expose children to the world and that I was preventing my son from being adequate exposure. I explained that he had heard enough swear words from walking down their hallways to sufficiently be exposed enough for a lifetime, that he did not need to read more to be adequately exposed.

Some people advocate exposure to everything, somehow thinking that what matters most is exposure, thus if you're exposed, you're educated. In some schools they even hand out condoms. To me, exposure is not the purpose of education. It is to train a mind to be disciplined and to learn how to do something correctly. Anyone can throw lines on a paper, but someone who knows English, or whatever language they write in, can use them correctly to make something wonderful. Is not the purpose of learning English to increase one's vocabulary, to understand what is being communicated and to learn how to put words together clearly in a way that the person who read them is now better for having read them? My experience says that teaching difficult subjects can be done without having unlimited profanity and rampant sexuality. That was really my only issue. Please allow my son to read something that isn't utterly profane and graphically sexual. In the end, they allowed my son to read books I approve of, without swearing, sexual promiscuity, the rationalization of a man who had incest with his daughter and rampant drug use. I don't think he's really missing very much from missing out on those books. Instead, he gets to read a piece of classical literature that everyone puts on their lists of top 100 books to be read in this lifetime. Taking a stand isn't always easy or popular, but it makes me feel better at the end of the day that a mother can still make a difference in the life of her child.

Tennessee

It was a such a dash to get ready for this trip with ward boundary changes and meeting many of the new families all in the days preceeding the trip, that I forgot some things I only need on a trip - like my camera battery recharger. So, my photos are limited. Fortunately Mike brought along his camera too so we could remember our outing to see an actual replica of the Parthenon. Did you know Nashville is referred to as the "Athens of the South," for all its universities? I also missed photos of the largest civil war graveyard, right in Franklin. Another day we walked downtown where the Ryman Auditorium and all the record stores and honky tonk bars and music clubs were. It certainly had a country feel to it, and those Southern accents we heard everywhere really made us feel right at home. I loved the many brick homes we saw, and especially Rob and Becki's new home. It's beautiful and modern and comfy and homey. What great hosts they were and what fun we had with everyone!!!

Wouldn't be a trip to the Nashville area without some country music influence, would it? My mom loved seeing a Minnie-Pearl impersonator. She was pretty cute!


MyMike doing the dishes after many a meal. This was Thanksgving. He doesn't cook, but boy, can he clean. He also did 95% of the driving there and back, and had such a good time the whole week. We played a lot of games and relaxed. Life is good.

One of the funnest parts of our trip was all the laughs and smiles. This is Brett doing some Karaoke. He and Eric both sang "Play That Funky Music White Boy." What fun! and then I sang too. Note that Brett is covering his eyes - he just can't stand it! Really, we all just cracked each other up so much, I asked Ryan if his mouth hurt from smiling so much, and he admitted it did. I don't think I've heard him so happy for so many days in a row. . . the joy of cousins and being able to all be silly together!

My brother, Rob, and my parents around the kitchen table. Do you see the chalkboard on the left? Becki made that and would write inspiring quotes on it. What a neat idea! I am inspired by her creativity! Wait til I show you what she made for us for Christmas in a future post! She's amazing, and a terrific cook too. Rob is lucky to be fed so well. We all ate so much and loved every bite. I came back with several new recipes which are Must Makes from now on, like Sweet Potatoes roasted with cinnamon sticks and maple syrup - YUM!! And homemade focaccia that can be made in twenty minutes - Super YUM!

This is one of my favorite photos of the week . . . this is why we came, to be together - generations, far-away cousins. . .it was all good! And, at the Opry Shop behind them, I picked up a "Grand Old Opry" guitar pick for a buck; my bargain of the trip, only barely beating my $2.99 "Nashville Fiddler" CD of awesome musicians performing classics of folk music. A little bargain shopping is a must!

The girls. . . in a home where 13 stayed, only 4 of us were girls. We love each other dearly and relished each and every moment of togetherness.

The big boys ... Adam and Steven both were working on their BYU-Idaho applications this week, hoping to be roommates next year. Matthew is a car guy and plays piano too. These are all GREAT kids!

A highlight was going to the temple in Franklin. Its literally less than ten minutes from my brother's house. I think its the smallest temple I've ever been in, but the spirit was the same and it felt familiar quickly. It was only open for two sessions the day we went. It seemed the best way to show my gratitude on this Thanksgiving holiday for the tremendous blessings of eternal families. And it was more special to be there with Mike, my parents, and Rob and Becki. We took our children there the first day we were touring around, so they could walk around and feel the spirit there too.


MyGirl in front of Miley Cyrus' farm. Shortly after we got there a truck pulled up and we hoped it was Billy Ray, but it wasn't. She was home. . . later spied at the Franklin Walmart, according to my brother, who shopped there the next day. We know we were on surveillance when another minute later, another car pulled up and told us we had to leave. Not that we're all that into Hannah Montana, but when in Franklin, TN, you gotta see the locals. We ate dinner on Friday at the "Bar-B-Cutie" which was better than Famous Dave's, and as I'm looking around I spot a guitar and photo signed by Diamond Rio. This is a small restaurant. In fact, when we got there, we had the place to ourselves. In Nashville, its just a small world when it comes to music moguls!

Fall Fun

My Mom and Dad are here this week. Its fun to share photos and things we've missed out on in each other's lives in the past few months. I also realized I haven't posted much here in a while, so here are some of the events of Fall and some pages I did while waiting for my children to get home on the weekends. . . night is always my most productive time for scrapbooking!

Steven at his last cross country meet. Poor guy had been sick for a few days right before yet still shaved 3 minutes off his recent time. He is looking forward to running again just for fun. Its just who he is.

LittleBuddy the "Hunter" or "GI JOE" or "Covert Camoflauge Guy". It didn't matter what you called him, he just wanted to dress like this, and was happy to be with his friends at our ward Trunk or Treat, at school, and on Halloween night.


Three children, three pumpkins, BigBuddy cut the largest, with the help of our neighbor, and MyGirl based hers on the card my mom sent, and LittleBuddy went for personality!
Trek Pages of BigBuddy's experience in July. When we picked him up he said it was harder than he envisioned, but he was up to the challenge, and wished he could do it again, then he had a LONG nap!

Christmas pages of Bigbuddy's from 2007 - sadly I am that far behind in my children's books. These are 9 x 9 and are fast and easy to do. I keep them quite simple so I can get between 8 and 12 pages done in a couple of hours. Happily, my 12 x 12 family album is caught up to August of this year. I'm still tempted just to photo copy but I don't have a 12 x 12 printer, and I do have plenty of supplies, so thus I keep going. The pressure is on for me, though, with BigBuddy's book. I want it caught up before he leaves for college at the end of this school year. I'm going to be busy!

And because I know how busy I am, I am posting Thanksgiving decor today. We are excited to be with family this year for Thanksgiving. I've already found some bargain felt turkeys I have to use somewhere. . . more creative ideas to come!
We spent yesterday at the ribbon outlet and the Prime Outlets - with Christmas shopping begun! Oh, how quickly the time goes. I hope to be able to pull it off. Our ward boundaries are changing also in less than two weeks so there's a lot to be done in a short amount of time! Never a dull moment!

Definitions

I read this week that the definition of creativity is to live in the moment and make of it what you will. Sounds easy, doesn't it? Some days its easier than others. Today, its rainy and cold, I'm achy and freezing, MyGirl has gone back to bed - not feeling too well either, and the boys are out in the cold, having come back twice for warmer gear, and once to drop off their cell phones so they wouldn't get wet.

They want to make homemade pumpkin chocolate chip cookies, but it hasn't happened yet. My moment for now is just to journal and record - to remember instead of live in the moment.

This is my green thumb. I'm down to three tomato plants, but I froze another 7 quarts of tomatoes earlier this week. Every three days I go out and pick a whole basketful. If we lose power, the generator has to go to the freezer and save my babies (the tomatoes) who are the source of most of my green thumbing this year.



At our monthly Relief Society meeting we were getting in gear for giving this week. These are beans I put into a frosting bag, zipped it up with the sewing maching and tied a bow. Now I just have to make a tag with the recipe and its a gift ready to go for the holidays. We learned how easy it is to make truffles and peanut brittle, gift tags and gift bags. It inspired me to come home and finish making my mother's Christmas present. . . even my children were surprised I could pull it off.

My Bigbuddy came indoors a bit ago and said, "You have a huge preying mantis outside the front door." To my relief, it was outdoors. To my even more relief it was still there when I went outside to take a photo. These are the moments when nature reminds you that no matter what is going on, something unexpected is always around the corner, even just outside your door. So glad my children are so observant. They remind me to look more closely at the little things around me. Their true creativity never ceases to amaze me.

Baby Love

Was it already a whole week ago that I met my newest nephew?
How cute are those bubbles and that smile!!!
His parents adore him!
He is so sweet and alert and lovable!
We miss Spencer! We miss his parents! He is in our hearts forever!




The past few days we've had my aunt and uncle here from Canada also. I tell you - we are LOVING IT!!! We feel downright spoiled spending time with loved ones twice in a week. Now that we've gotten used to how great it feels to have family here even if just for a short time, we're feeling melancholy at their just as fast departures. We know it will be a long time before we're together again, sadly. Here's to hoping the time will fly until we see each other again, yet knowing how much will have changed by then. . . . Family . . . love each and every one no matter how far or how fleeting our time with them.

What Matters Most . . . .

Tonight in family home evening our family watched the short video by our church titled, "What Matters Most." I confess that lately I have given a lot of thought to this very topic. President Monson reminded me that what matters most is people. He said something that I want to always remember:
Never let a problem to be solved be more important than a person to be loved.
It reminds me of the adage that when in doubt, if you have to choose between being right and being kind, be kind.

This is not easy for me. Not that its hard to love. Its been such a blessing to have my calling right now. I have found that when my sisters need to share the hard things in their lives, listening with love and pointing them to the Savior actually infuses my soul with light and increases its capacity to love them even more. I never feel burdened but grateful for the opportunity to share His love. No matter the problem, my loving them is always the right thing for me to do. How easy is that to know my role and have it so clearly defined for me.

Sometimes, though, in the relationships that do matter most, I find myself distracted by problems. I find that its not my natural inclination to respond with that great mantel of charity and glorifying the Lord. Those problems are not mine. I can show empathy, and sometimes I have experienced something so very similar, but this is different. This is my own real life. . . reality in its most raw form.

Charity never faileth. The one thing I can count on no matter what is that Jesus Christ's love me for is perfect, and it has not, and it does not, and it will not ever fail me. Knowing that I am REALLY a daughter of God means that the promise in the scriptures that Charity never faileth was meant for me. It is my Heavenly Father's own testimony that He put into place a way and a means for me to get back to Him. I can trust deeply in His love for me. It is real and it is everlasting. Just typing it here brings tears to my eyes, so grateful I am for that knowledge which is unwavering within my soul.

In my quest for doing what's right even when its not always so evident and clear, the Lord has led me to the words of others that have inspired me. The web is a deep, wide place. I went to the obvious sources of inspiration first. Then on just faith, I clicked on links that had the exact answers I was looking for. Why did I remember one woman in Idaho's blog address, and feel the need to click on one particular friend in the long list of links she had? I can only reason that the Spirit directed me to do so. These were the voices of women I do not know, but am so grateful for the truths they spoke. It resonated in my soul that their wisdom was that which I needed. It doesn't change the fact that when life gives you lemons and you make lemonade and sometimes you realize those lemons weren't really what you were expecting them to be that you have a problem to solve. However, with President Monson's and everyone else's advice to focus on loving more than the unexpected bad lemons, in the end it will all be all right. I trust in the Lord. How grateful I am for His continued sustainence for me. I pray He will lead me where I need to go most, and to have the courage to follow whatever directions he offers.

If today was the day to climb into the ark, would I go when there are no clouds in the sky? I pray to listen and lead and learn so that the things that really do matter most are the things I focus on too. . . in every situation, especially the ones that aren't so easy.

A Day to Create

Finally, a day to create!
It has been so long to wake up knowing that this is the day designated for fun crafty projects! Of course, there were antecedents and possessive pronouns to encounter first thing, but after that . . . Fun!
Baby blankets were first on the agenda. Our ward is growing with little cherubic cheeks so I wanted to be ready for them. Next was an Enrichment project - Ikea frames painted Black with scrapbooking paper and white vinyl spelling JOY. Fast, easy, and inexpensive. I'll be personally making plenty for the holidays. We're offering this at our Christmas Craft night.
Next was a lovely homemade dinner. The nights I teach piano I usually put something in the crock pot or whip something up quick. We're certainly not starving, but its nice to take the time to really cook and bake. Tonight's menu - chicken and rice. I ignored my standard recipe and played with spices and seasonings and it all was yummy. We added vegetables and it was comfort food time. . . Love it!
Tonight I've been working on family Christmas gifts. I can't say too much now, but wait until after the holidays for all my postings. MyMike's heading to see his family in a few weeks so I thought I'd send their presents with him and save on shipping so I needed to get started. Keeping it heartfelt and homemade - my favorite gifts to give! I know I feel the love when I unwrap a homemade gift, so tonight was my first offering to those I love. I can't wait to do this again soon!