Opposition

What a week!?!

Was sick, got better.
Missed church last Sunday, went to the church six times in the past four days.
Three social events in the evenings, stressful shopping trips in the mornings.
Hot flashes, looking for blankets to warm me up.
Been exasperating to some, been tested in patience with others.
Ached for another's pain, rejoiced in another's bliss.
Researched a new city, Mike turned down a job offer.
Said the right thing, said the wrong thing.
Slept the day away, crammed as much into a 24 hour time period as possible.
Bought a lot of things, returned a lot of things.
Cleaned the house immaculately, apologized for the sorry state of my house.
Made appointments, missed an appointment.
Felt incredibly sore, relaxed by the pool (one evening).
Listened a lot, chatted a lot.
Prayed earnestly, worried needlessly.
Served a "make this again" dinner it is SOOO GOOD, threw a recipe away.
Created meaningfully, discarded carelessly.
Was a patient, was a nurse.
Cried randomly, laughed effortlessly.
Tore off wallpaper, and wondered what I was thinking in the first place when I put it up!

It's just been one of those weeks. It took me all weekend to even put these few thoughts down.
Opposition in all things.

Some opposites I love - day and night, black and white, salt and pepper, male and female
Others I resist - life and death, ease and trials, sickness and health

Tonight I'm just grateful to be able to look back and say, I made it through it all. I often wonder, what will my children remember about This week or this day? Is it just part of the blending in of one's life? And if so, then how are we growing? Where is the progress? Did my actions or my words make a difference? If its just a regular week then it will have been filled with all kinds of highs and lows, and opposition, and my inevitable mess-ups, but they won't really remember much about them next month or next year or in a decade. And, how merciful is that!

On the other hand, don't I want them to remember and savor and treasure each and every day? Of course, and yet I can already look at this summer and summarize with only two weeks left, we had a little fun, Mike was bored until he was really busy, and throughout all this Amy got worse and passed. The boys did a lot together when Steven wasn't working, and Renee babysat and played games and I continued my Relief Society work and we all worked together to majorly declutter and fix up the house with more work to go. Nothing exciting or great, just our real life.

But what will make this year's summer stand out as one I will always remember with great joy is that each one of my children has grown closer to the Lord this summer. What more could I ask for? Nothing. And so, if this is the price - opposition and challenges and heartache and even some teenage attitude and neck pain, then let it be so. Far be it from me to alter the plan of God to bring us back to Him, opposition and all.